


Dear Rick, Love Negan

by ForeverLilacLies



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Flirting, Letters, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-05 15:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14047437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverLilacLies/pseuds/ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Negan begins writing letters to Rick and Rick responds as can be expected.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Letters between Negan and Rick. This will be about a three part story. All correspondence will be through letters.
> 
> Bold italics-Negan
> 
> Italic- Rick

 

_**Dear Rick,** _

**_How's it going, Rick? Decided to start writing you letters when I can't stop by. Wanted to keep up the conversation, you know? Make sure we could stay in touch. How are the kids? You all still alive and well? I'm gonna have Arat drop this off to you when she goes for supplies. She's a damn good soldier The boys and I made some pretty good finds this week, we'll be coming over for a visit soon. Hope too see you bright and early._ **

_**Love, Negan.** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**It's been a week. I know Arat delivered the letter. She wouldn't lie about that shit.** _ _**Did you get my last letter?** _ **She said she gave it to you directly. It's rude to not reply. Hope all is fucking peachy.**

_**Love, Negan,** _

_Negan,_

_Fuck off._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick the Dick,** _

_**Well, that's fucking rude as Hell, Rick. Didn't your parents teach you proper decorum? Man, I know we're in a shit hole of a world right now, but is it too much to ask for a little common curtesy? Work on that attitude of yours. Tell the kids I said hello.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Didn't yours teach you it was rude to bash in people's skulls and dictate them? Kids are fine. Leave me alone. We can talk during your visits._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**I wouldn't have had to do it if you hadn't started shit, Rick. Glad to hear about the kids. Will be by later. Can't wait to see you.** _

_**Love, Negan.** _

_Negan,_

_And you continue on like you have some damn right to treat people like shit and use cheap fear tactics to keep them in line. (Illegible scribbling) You're a monster. Stop writing to me._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_You see, I'm not gonna stop writing to you just because you wanna act like a little bitch. Keep up the holier than thou bullshit if you want, but we both know you've killed just as much as I have. You aren't innocent in any of this. Your hands are covered in blood, Prick. I did what I had to do. Turning a blind eye doesn't change a damn thing._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_What exactly am I turning a blind eye to? My people being subjugated to your abuse? Your damn threats? You're like a child on some ant hill. The kind that would burn ants with a magnifying glass just for fun. You just keep pushing your thumb and crushing everything without any remorse. I'm just waiting for the day some bigger, meaner kid comes and knocks you down._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Damn Rick, that's some god damn Shakespeare style writing you have. The_ metaphors _are popping! You and your people the poor little ants._** **_Some bigger and meaner kid, huh? Well, it sure as hell can't be you. You're fucking tiny Rick; I could pick your little ass up and put you on top of my fucking Christmas tree. Sounds like you're trying to scare me. Maybe I should line up all your bigger little friends and let Lucille have herself a fucking party?_ **

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

**_You think ignoring me is a good idea, Rick? Arat makes sure you read my letters, maybe she needs to make sure you start replying You know what happens when I get angry. I'd hate to have to teach you and your little shit head friends that lesson again. I'd be very careful if I were you. I don't want you ignoring my letters now._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_What do you want?_

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I want a lot of things, Rick. Sex, food, power. I have a lot of those things. Of course, there's always gonna be things out there that are a little more difficult to get my hands on. But I'm patient. So tell me Rick, you have any hobbies? Or had any before this world fucked off the deep end? You collect coins or something? I liked drawing. Wasn't very good at it, but still liked it. Cooking too. I could make a mean lasagna._ ** **_World went to shit and a lot of the things I liked doing kinda went south._ ** **_Maybe I should have you for dinner sometime. Fave a little one on one time with you._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I don't- (Illegible scribbles) I did photography. Nothing interesting or amazing. Just nature photos. I can't cook to save my life. Neither could (illegible scribbling) I'm not interested in having dinner with you._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Photography huh? Never pictured you having the patience for that sort of thing. I'll look around for camera for you. Polaroid can only go so far after all. You don't have to come over for dinner. I'm just gonna stop by your place. Got my hands on some wine, too. Some ink moscato shit. Not my first pick, but I'm not complaining. I'll see you later this week. Bring the kids, too. Missed seeing the little serial killer and angel._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_That's really not necessary. I don't wan- (words cut off quickly)_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Was great seeing your face again! Has anyone ever told you that you turn really red when you're embarrassed? It's the cutest thing next to those kids of yours. Must get those looks from you. Little serial killer has your eye. Angry looking shit isn't he? Much meaner looking than you are. Think those cute little curls of yours kind of takes the edge off that whole boss thing. Anyway, dinner was great. I hope you like the lasagna. Wished you woulda ate more. You're too skinny. Next time maybe. Stay safe!_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Maybe the constant comments on my ass had something to do with me being embarrassed? Was that even necessary You can't just barge in unannounced like you did. Speaking about decorum. Carl's not mean looking. He just looks like that when he sees you. The lasagna was fine. Carl liked it._

_-Rick_

* * *

**I don't know what their hobbies would have been, but hey look, hobbies.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved all the comments and everyone's reactions to the first chapter! Thank you guys for being so awesome! Here's chapter 2 of?

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Glad your boy has good taste in food. As for my comments on your ass, I'm just sayin' the truth. It's kind of bubbly. Been thinking lately that I should start sending some of my boys out with you when you're scavenging. They're all trained well, and I'd hate to get word that one of your own let you die or something.** _

_**Love, Negan.** _

_Negan,_

_Can we stop talking about it? As for sending some of your people with me, I don't think its necessary. I don't need anyone tailing me. I can manage on my own without your people up my ass. They'd only slow me down. My people are good at what they do._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Well, the problem with that last letter is that you need to remember that I own Alexandria and I own you. So, as my property I am obligated to make sure it isn't damaged. Not a hit at the size of your sac or anything, just me looking out for what's mine. I wouldn't let them up your ass anyway. I own that too. I'll send my best out, don't you worry._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_(Illegible scribbling) I don't- (Illegible scribbling) I'm not-(illegible scribbling) Fine, but I don't want a whole damn squad following me around. One or two at most and if they get themselves killed, that's on them. I'm not babysitting your men._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Not that this is a negotiation or anything, but if it was I guess that sounds reasonable enough. I'd rather have at least three with you, but we'll see how you do with two. Now, I don't wanna fucking hear you caused problems or killed any of them. Play nice for daddy._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_(Illegible scribbling) You're not my father._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Daddy, Rick. It's Daddy. There's a difference. Arat says you looked pale when she last saw you. You not dying are you? I can send supplies if you need them. Anyway, I was wondering what you did before all this. I heard you were a police officer. Officer Grimes? Can imagine you looked damn fine in a uniform.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I'm not dying. There's no need to send anything. I was an officer before the outbreak. (Illegible scribbling) What did you do before everything?_

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick**

**Too late. Hope you like soup. Also, what's your opinion on my beard? Need a fresh opinion outside my men falling over themselves to say I look great. Which, of course I know I do, but what do you think? I- (illegible scribbling) I was a coach for some kids with (illegible scribbling) I taught baseball. Say hello to the kids for me!**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_It's your face. Do what you want with it. (illegible scribbling)_

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_That's really unhelpful, Rick. I know you're mouthier than this. I've seen it. I decided to go with a little trim for now. I heard that my boys and you have been working well as a team. I'm fucking glad to hear it! I'll be over later on this week for a little visit. Sleep well!_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Really enjoyed visiting you and the kids! Your boy sure has a mouth on him, though. Gets that from you. Really like the scruffy look you've got going. I'm heading out soon to pay a visit to some of the other communities. Most of them are pretty well behaved. Didn't have as much trouble with them as I had with all of your people. But, there's always that one problem child in a family and tag you're it! Anyways, don't be telling anyone this, but you're my favorite. Every parent had a favorite kid, no matter what they say and you little misbehaving team had a special place in my heart. Gotta ask though, who of your kids is your favorite? You gotta prefer one. Come on and tell!_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_How many communities do you even have? I can't imagine they all decided to just blindly follow you. I don't have a favorite kid. I love both of them equally. They're both my children. Trust me, I won't be telling anyone about these letters._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_You're no fun. Also, Arat says you shaved your beard? Was it cause I said something? Gotta say, when pressed Arat admitted you looked like a fourteen year old. I'm imagining a curly headed two eyed Carl right now. But I imagine he's bigger than you were. Fucking eat something, Grimes. Coming over to see it for myself._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I don't know why you would even care on what I look like. I wanted to discuss a-(trails off quickly)_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Well, damn Rick! You looked fucking adorable with your clean baby face! Can't say you look fourteen without feeling like a creep, but damn if it doesn't make you look sweet enough to eat! Sorry I interrupted what I assume would have been a very lengthy and thought out letter. Back to your face, cause I can't stop thinking about that mouth of yours. That scruff was fine and dandy, but hid those lips way too well. I think I like you clean shaven just as much as scruffy._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Noted. But getting back on track, I found a cache of rumored supplies near the lake a few weeks back. There were too many Walkers to be able to get across to the supplies. I can reach them if I have a few extra set of hands with me. I don't know what's in the cache, but it might be in your best interest to let me get to them. It looked like there were cans of some sort, but I wasn't able to get close enough to get a good look._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I like your attitude! I'll send a few extra men out with you and let you get those supplies. Hopefully, you find something good out there. But first, you gotta give me specifics. I'll have Simon coordinate with you when he delivers this letter. He'll be able to relay any information you might want to share. Be careful, Rick. I'd hate to see you get that pretty face bit._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Rick,**

**Heard you and my men hit the jackpot! Good call going for those supplies! There was enough shit to supply a small army. I'm sending some of my boys to keep searching the area. They mentioned you fucking used your axe like a god damn baton. I'm impressed. Glad it went smoothly for you. I'll have to thank you personally later. I'll bring some supplies with me. You need any medical shit or anything?**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_We are running low on gauze and antiseptic if you could spare some, I would appreciate it. Thank you._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I'll have Arat and Dwight drop those off first thing. Weather's been getting pretty shitty. Hope you're staying warm. Maybe I- (Illegible writing) I'll have Arat and Dwight drop off some more blankets. Can't have you freezing or anything. It looks like snow is ready to fall or something._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan_

_Thank you, the blankets are going to people who could really use them now. I appreciate it._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_What's one fast food place you miss the most? I'll admit, I was a Taco Bell kind of guy. Those loaded burritos were fucking amazing after drinking. Used to grab some after a rough night. Luc(illegible scribbling) Probably not the healthiest option as I was kindly told, but it was amazing._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I haven't really thought about what foods I missed, but Taco Bell doesn't sounds bad right about now. Fast food was never a favorite of mine, but occasionally I liked to have some. I always liked the Dairy Queen blizzards._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_So you have a sweet tooth? Should have figured. Good food is probably what I miss the most about life before the outbreak. You can almost pretend when you're getting laid or taking a drive down the road. You can pretend when lying in bed (Or on the floor in your case. Carl says you won't use the mattress I graciously provided. That's rude, Rick) But usually it's the food that reminds me. I fucking hated canned vegetables but now it's all we have to live on most of the time. Anyway, I need to take a leak, so I'll chat with you later._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Have you considered trying to garden? You could find good soil and try to grow your own vegetables. Pretending doesn't change anything, but it's good to find some escape when you can. I- (Illegible scribbling) Carl's taken on playing cards as a hobby. He's gotten really good with it and hustled Michonne out of one of her throwing knives._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Do I look like a farmer to you? I can barely touch a good damn plant without fucking dying on me. I doubt my boys know much about gardening, either. You a gardener, Rick? I can imagine that scene nicely. I have a nice deck of cards I can give to the little serial killer. Barely used._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I was taught the basics but eventually learned more from practice. If you have any tomato seeds or beans I could show you or one of your men how to plant and water them correctly. I think Carl would appreciate the cards. He's getting a sick kick out of beating people. It's oddly satisfying to watch people's faces fall when they realize he's won._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I'd be very interested in you planting your seed. I'll bring the cards with me next time I stop by. I'm almost interested to see how good the kid is for myself. Haven't played a good poker game in years. Hope the little angel is doing good! I'm sending over some fertilizer for your little farm. You can show me how it's done. I doubt any dirt we have is any good with the walkers in the area._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Carl says he could take you at anytime. Maybe you should just kill the walkers. Find a new security system or something._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Didn't get a chance to see you this week. Had a run in with a shit load of walkers and lost some of my boys. Never enjoyable having to lose people. I know all their names, even if in passing. Guess that comes with being in charge. Gotta know your people and all that. Still doesn't make it any easier having to lose a single damn one. I'll stop by next week._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Sorry to hear about your people. That's the thing with leadership. They're your people and it's never going to get easier._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_You know, I think we could make a damn good team. You and I just out there doing what needs to be done. Saving people and helping them. Your boy would make a good solider. Has fucking balls of steel and that's useful to me. He'd go far with me. I think it would be beneficial to you to push this little relationship of ours forward into the future. Lots of people out there need saving and my boys and I could use you as a voice of reason. You've fallen into line nicely and I think that would be really fucking useful. Get the rest of the little gangs in line. Show them how a good little community behaves._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I'm not going to be your little messenger boy to scare people into line. (Illegible writing) Why don't you use your own damn people. I don't follow your orders because I want to and my son is not joining you. What you're doing isn't saving._

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_You know, for a bit I thought we were reaching a nice little understanding and then you have to go and fucking piss all over it. I'm really fucking disappointed in you, Rick. Didn't we already have this discussion when I bashed in ginger and asian kid's fucking faces? Maybe I should come by and give you and your little town another lesson on who the fuck is in charge._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_This is exactly what I'm talking about._

_-Rick_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**I don't know why you're having this bitchy silent treatment but it lost its spark by now. It's gotten really fucking old by now. It's like that time a month ago when I did you a huge fucking favor for gutting that asshole Spencer. You didn't even have a decency to respond to a damn fucking letter I sent? Simon told me you destroyed the last letter I wrote without even reading it. You're lucky I had told him earlier to play nice with you and your community. Otherwise there would be heads rolling down that street. I don't know why you're so fucking worked up. I killed him for you. He wanted me to do his dirty work for him so he could take the fucking lead. Had to put that shit down. You should be thanking me for not letting him go through with whatever he had planned. As for the little serial killer, I could have fucking ended him for what he did to my boys. But I fucking didn't. I brought him home safe and sound. Didn't even kill that bitch for shooting Lucille. Too impressed with him I guess. If I wasn't impressed already. It's like an endless cycle with you. Get pissed, lash out and get spanked back into submission. I can come down hard, Rick. Don't tempt me. Respond or I will be coming to see you again very soon.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I'm done discussing what you did to Spencer. As for the rest, I told you before exactly what I thought of you and your methods. Sociopath child on the anthill. My son isn't one of your god damn soldiers. He's not like you or the rest of your horde. He's good and you would only destroy him._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_You think my end goal is to ruin your boy? That is the last thing I would ever want to do to him. He's worth way too much. He would be safe with me and he would be helping people who need it most. He's not your little boy anymore and it's time you learned to accept that. I'll be at your gate in four days. Be ready._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You're not a father are you? I doubt it with how careless you act in regards to my son. Let me make it simple for you to understand. Carl could be 15 or 45 and he would still always be my boy. He might get older and move on to start his own life, but that won't change who he is to me and as his father it's my job to take care of him. He and Judith are the most important people in this damn world to me and if I have to go through you and your men to keep them safe, I will._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I respect where you're coming from, Rick. I really do. You want to keep your boy safe and what father doesn't want that for their children? However, the world isn't what it was when you were a little bean sprout and Carl ain't gonna do so well in this world if you keep trying to shield him from it. He's gotta learn somehow Rick, at least with me he'd have a chance. How well have you done for him? Where's that other eye of his? Where's his mother? You've already failed him. I won't. I can take care of him and I can take care of you. So let me._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Is that suppose to convince me to just hand him over? Waving his mother and past in my face? Like I don't fucking live with it every god damn day and every time fucking time I look at him and Judith? How about this then, Negan. What's your story? Were you married? Did you have a life before all this or were you always this god damn monster killing people for the thrill? Is that why you cling to that fucking bat? Is it suppose to protect you from what's in front of you? You're clinging to it like a toddler clings to their blanket. You don't know a damn thing about me. Stop pretending that you do._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**(Illegible scribbling) You think you have any right to ask about my fucking past? I should drive to your community and burn the whole fucking place down and fucking bash your god damn head into a pulp. (Illegible scribbling) Fucking watch your step very carefully.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

**Riiiiiiiick, come on, write baaaaaaack(illegible scribbling, obviously drunk while writing) I know you wanna write back to me. We've been having so much fun together. We can (illegible scribbling) more fun if you come on over here. I can make (illegible scribbling) so good, Rick. Let me make you feel gooddddd. I'm sorry I brought up your wife. Didn't mean to upset you. I was married once (illegible scribbling) sick and died. Used to teach kids, too. Baseball and anger management. Ironic right, Rick? Please write back. I wanna see your words again.**

_**Love, Negan** _

_**P.S. If you let me, I could get to know you.** _

_Negan,_

_How drunk were you when you wrote this? How did you even let Arat bring this to me in that state? I don't think we were having fun together. (Illegible writing) I am sorry about your wife, though. Anger management is really ironic coming from you. Baseball...I can see that. I don't understand what you even want from me at this point. One minute you're writing shit like before and now you can barely write a simple sentence._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_(Illegible writing, splatter from ink bursting over paper) Had the hangover from hell after that letter I sent. Hope you could still understand it with my shit writing. As for what I want from you. I think my last letter spelled it out pretty clearly, Rick. Might as well come out with it, though. Can't really come back from that last letter and I might as well just tell you what's on my mind, seeing how you're a little dense with getting it. There are a lot of things I want Rick, and your fine ass is one of them. Not in the, slavery and murder you kind of way. As in I (illegible scribbling) I want to stick my tongue into that tight little asshole of yours and loosen you up a bit. If I'm being frank enough._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **


	5. Chapter 5

_Negan,_

_Are you sure you're not still drunk because that last letter was pure bullshit._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Aww darlin', you think I was drunk or kidding with that last letter? That's probably the most forthcoming I've ever been with you. It's high time, too. I'll lay it out in detail, just to make it more clear. Get my tongue up inside you, make you all wet and slick. Make you whine and beg for my dick. I'd fuck you so good, Rick. I'd fuck you blind.**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_(Illegible scribbling) Stop fucking around. It's not funny._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I can see your fluster all the way from over here, Rick. I wonder how far that blush goes. Anywho, I'm getting ready to visit some of the other communities. Heard there was a hoard of walkers sighted near the perimeter and we're gonna go take care of that very soon. Found a package of vegetable seeds from one of our outings. Think I'm gonna send it your way with this letter. See you later._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I don't know why you get like this all the damn time, but thank you for the vegetable package._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Are we really back to these short ass responses? Look, I'm sorry I got you all upset and shit. Don't give me the cold shoulder. You know how much it hurts daddy. I miss our talks. Also, you're welcome._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I don't know why you bother even writing to me since you insist on stopping by every week. I'm not interested in continuing this._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Not this shit again. Come on Rick, it's the same old song and dance. I'm done with the singing now. I wanna get to the dancing part. Those pretty legs of yours still dance?_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I don't dance. Why are you like this? Carl says hello._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Tell Carl I said hi back! That kid always makes my day! Better man than most of my boys it seems. Except Arat. Can't find good help these days, but she's always on point. How are you and Michonne doing? Still banging like a couple of teenagers? That woman is terrifying._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Carl's pretty amazing. Michonne and I ended things recently. We both have things we need to work through and decided it would be better to separate before things could go sour._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Sorry to hear about that. You two were hot together. But, I guess this will make things a bit easier since you seem to be the monogamous type. I_ _thought about what you said earlier about me just fucking around with you. So, I've decided I'm gonna prove myself to you. I'm gonna sweep you off your pretty little feet or some shit like that. Be ready._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You can't be serious? Are you really flirting with me, because if you are I gotta say you really suck at it. If you'e being serious, maybe you need to consider the fact that we don't even like each other? Why don't you find someone more willing and eager to flirt with? Why me?_

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_I'm 100 fucking percent serious, Rick. I'm offended that you'd even think otherwise! As for why I want you. Have you looked in a mirror lately, Rick? You're fucking gorgeous. Blindingly gorgeous. Doesn't hurt that you have a sac of steel and all that bonus shit. Also, started planting a little something last week. Hope you bring it to you soon. Get ready to be fucking seduced._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Good luck._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Oooo baby, you're making it into a game! you know I love games! How about this, now I'm only offering as a show of good faith so a little bit of thankfulness would be really fucking peachy. I'm going to be downgrading my visits for tributes to once ever two weeks. I'm only offering this once and because I know you're gonna ask what the catch is, I want you to start coming out on runs with me. Not every single one of them, just some. You and me only. Call it a bonding experience between us. It's a deal?_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You're seriously gonna cut back on your tributes, just to drag me around on runs? It's a deal._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Great! I'll stop by this time next week to pick you up. Make sure to dress warm just incase the weather is shit. Can't wait to give you the low down on what some of my men have been getting into lately. Damn assholes are giving me a headache with all their shit. Simon included. I'll save the dirty details for later._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Had a grand old time yesterday with you! You looked sweet enough to eat! Your little community seemed happy with our new arrangements. Except that boy of yours. Still looked like he wants to shove a knife up my taint or something. He's got that glare down perfectly! Anyway, did you have as much fun as I did? I hope you like the gift I brought you! Wasn't sure how it would turn out, but I guess the dirt at the Sanctuary isn't too fucked up. Looking forward to our next date. I'll stop by again soon. Take care!_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_The community is relieved with the new arrangement. Carl will be fine. He's just protective is all. Were you even looking for anything in particular on the run? You seemed more interested in exploring the area. It was a nice change of pace. Also, it wasn't a date. Thank you for the sunflower. Judith adores it. See you again soon._

_-Rick_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you for all the wonderful comments! This is a shorter chapter, but I have more already brewing!


	6. Chapter 6

_Negan,_

_You left your scarf thing on my counter last time you stopped by. I'll probably give it to Arat or Simon the next time they come by with a letter. Why are you leaving your shit everywhere. Last time it was your damn gloves. You need to stark picking up after yourself. Judith says hi. She says that now. Stop leaving your shit!_

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Well, thank you darlin'! Simon returned it right to me! Has anyone told you that you nag like a damn mother? It's fucking annoying as shit, but kind of hot. Tell the little angle I said hello! She's so smart! I think you need to start wearing a scarf or something. Getting to nippily outside for you to be running around in those thin ass shirts. Not that it doesn't look good on you. Take care and say hi to the kiddos!**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_I have my coat. If I nag it's only because you did something to deserve it. Carl says hello again and wants to know why you're always writing to me. I'm wondering the same thing. Judith is saying more words now. Really likes the word friend for some reason. Calls everything it. Carl, me, food. Also has this new habit of screeching at the top of her lungs just to see Carl and I jump._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Guess what the fuck I found on a search a couple days ago? A fucking record player. It doesn't look half bad either. The base is a bit fucked up, but it works! You should come on by sometime and listen to some music with me. I'll cook you up something tasty. You could use some good music and food. You're a scrawny little fucker. Bet I could toss you around.**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_We're doing this again? I'm really not interested in going anywhere with you. I'm not that skinny._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Not interested yet. You will be. I can guarantee it. Also, stop arguing with me.**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_No._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Ah sweetheart, you're killing me. Let me tell you about this run my boys and I had this past week. So, I'm out far in walker territory, scavenging for some shit with my men, when some of the younger guys suddenly go offline. They ain't answering for nothing. So, I assume they're out range for the walkie talkies or dead. Simon can't get ahold of them and Dwight's just done with all this shit. Come to find out, that these little shits found a while casement of Bacardi in one of the storage units. Sealed and completely drinkable. I get to them and half of them are drunk off their asses. I couldn't even really punish them, you know? Too impressed that they got a good find. Plus. the hangover and looming fear of what big ol' Negan could do was enough. Guess I'm getting soft. So, naturally I drink with them. Dwight and Arat ain't big drinkers so they watched the streets while the boys and I had a bottle or two. There's still like 12 bottles left. Felt like we hit the jackpot. You a drinker, Rick? Don't take you as one, but let's just say there's a bottle on my desk with your name on it, if you ever wanna relax a bit._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I'm not a big drinker. Thank you for the offer though._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_You can be a real drag, you know? Anyway, just out of curiosity, what kind of things are you into sexually? I mean, now that you and Michonne decided to stop playing missionary, I figured it was time for you to expand your palette. I'm open to all sorts of things, as you can imagine. You ever been with a man? You ever had a tongue up inside you? C'mon Rick, share with daddy._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You are (illegible scribbling) I don't know why you are (illegible scribbling) It's none of your business what I do in my private life. It's none (illegible scribbling) of your damn business. Why are you still sending me sunflowers? There are like eight in the house now. They're very nice though. Obviously you're not terrible with gardening._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**That sorta sounds like you're admitting to something Rick! You don't gotta be so shy about it! I don't mind. Hope you're enjoying those damn flowers. They're growing like fucking crazy here. Not the most macho thing, according to the boys. They can fuck off ever hear the song Sexbomb by Tom Jones? I think you'd get a kick out of it. Have it on one of my albums. Think it's pretty fitting for us. I'm sending some supplies your way. Figured you could use more food and shit. There's a storm coming so I'd be prepared if I were you.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I haven't heard it. Thank you for the supplies. It's started snowing since Arat left so I doubt this letter will make it to you until after it passes. I din't remember it getting this cold here before. I have to make a supply run soon. The community is going to need extra supplies until the weather clears out. Aaron marked some potential areas from last time he was in the area. I'm going to head out once i get the chance._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Winter's hitting hard this year it seems. I'd suggest you don't go anywhere. Don't know how bad it's gonna be. I'll probably have Arat and the boys stick around your community until the worst of the storm passes. I think once I can get the roads clear I'll send more supplies your way again. Hilltop and the Kingdom could probably use a little help I guess. The Walker's of course ain't gonna worry about any weather issues. I'm thinking about leaving you a spare walkie talkie so we can chat more one on one. Maybe get a little down in dirty, over.**

**Love, Negan**

"Sir." _*walkie talkie crackles*_

"Hey Arat, what's up? The weather turning where you are?"

"It's snowing pretty hard now. We have the community locked in."

"Good, good. You get to Rick alright? I wanna talk to him."

"Sir, Grimes was not in Alexandria when I arrived. His son says he went on a supply run."

_*crackle*_

"I'll be...when did he leave?"

"Two day ago sir. His son had hoped that you would know about his whereabouts."

"I...fuck. He went out there _alone_?"

_*crackle*_

"Yes sir."

"Fuck me...Arat, stay where you are. I'm gonna head out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoys the new episode!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Dear Rick,** _

**_Didn't I fucking tell you not to go out in this weather? The supplies could have waited. I don't care of Mrs. What'sherface had a damn cold or whoeverthefuckheis needed more canned beans. They sure as hell aren't worth your fucking safety. Why do you never fucking listen to me? You realize that my team is called the Saviors for a reason? I'm trying to save you and your people and you're out in this blizzard bullshit, freezing your balls off. Fucking inconsiderate Rick. When I find your sorry ass, I'm putting you over my knee and giving you the spanking of a lifetime. Wait for me. I'm going to find you._ **

_**Love, Negan** _

"Anything yet?"

"No sign of him. We have some men scouting the woods."

"Keep looking. Make sure his kids are looked after."

_**Dear Rick the Prick,** _

**_Is there any sense in that curly head of yours? You fucking go out for supplies in the middle of a damn blizzard? What the fuck is with that martyr complex of yours? You don't just go gallivanting in a blizzard to feed some hungry assholes. You wait that shit out. This ain't the Sound of Music. The fucking hills are dead and one of my favorite things is currently MIA. (Illegible scribbling) Get your ass back to you community before I lose my god damn mind. I'm taking back my sunflowers._ **

_**Love, Negan** _

_**P.S. You better be fucking breathing when I find you.** _

_**Prick,** _

_**I almost thought you might have run on me, but I know you better than that. You would never leave. Your kids are home and you aren't. Now, I'm out in this shit looking for you. Have I mentioned that I fucking hate the snow? Because I do. Why the fuck is it even snowing up here? This is bullshit. If you got your fine as killed by those fucking Walkers, I'm gonna burn your whole damn community to the ground and everyone in it who let you go on your own.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

"Negan, are you sure he didn't just run off?"

"He wouldn't do that shit. He wouldn't leave his kids."

"...What if he's dead?"

*crackle*

"...He's not."

_**Prick,** _

**_I've been out here looking for your damn ass for three days now. It ain't funny. You got your little community in a tizzy. Michonne, your hot ex keeps giving me the stink eye. You've been gone nearly a week. Simon says there's no way you could have survived that long out in the cold. Simon doesn't know you like I do. You're out there somewhere. Now, stop fucking around and let me find you. Your son is worried sick. I'm fucking worried too. I brought the sunflowers back. You're out there somewhere, Rick. Let me find you sweetheart._ **

_**Love, Negan** _

"Sir-"

"What!?"

"We found him."

*Crackle*

"I-I'm on on my. How is he Arat?"

"Sir..."

_**Rick,** _

**_They found you near the river. Several dead Walkers led a path right to you. Your axe was still buried in out of those fuckers heads. You got them though, Rick. Every single one and not one managed to bite you. You gave them hell, but they gave it back. The boys say you must have fallen over the ledge near the water. You had several supplies spilled all over the snow. You always were a good as your word. The fall was over 40 feet, Rick. I don't know how long you laid there for. You should have taken someone with you. The boys loaded you in the truck. Arat was with them so she made sure they took good care of you. Looks like you got hurt bad, sweetheart. Arat says your eyes were fluttering under your lids a bit, but wouldn't open. Had them take good care of you bringing you back to your kids. I'm on my way to you now._ **

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

**_Doc says you have a bad concussion and a busted shoulder and arm. Your damn spine is fine. Some kind of miracle there. You're lucky you didn't catch frostbite.(Illegible scribbling) Now, you just gotta wake up. I'll stick around for a bit. Do't wanna leave you alone. Sitting with you now. You're all bundled up in blankets your ex hot girlfriend brought over for you. Don't think she likes me much. Put the little angel to sleep a bit ago. She wanted to give you a goodnight kiss. She's damn adorable, Rick. You make beautiful babies. The little serial killer wouldn't stop giving me the stink eye, but he's behaved. Even sat with me for a bit before I made him go to bed. Boy sure put up a fuss though, must get that from you. Growing boys need sleep though and I know you'd have my ass if I didn't look after him. You're an adorable sleeper by the way. Those curls of yours are phenomenal. But fuck, Rick. You're so damn bruised up. You think I'd be used to seeing that kind of shit with you. I mean after (illegible scribbling) You could have died out there, Rick. I was half afraid Arat was gonna tell me you were dead or that you became a damn Walker. I wanted to come grab you myself, but I was too far away and you needed medical attention fast. Had all your folks running wild. The creepy preacher stopped by earlier. Don't think you're the religious type of guy, but I guess you two are friends or some shit. He's still creepy as fuck with that smile of his._ **

_**Love, Negan** _

_**Dear Rick,** _

**_Had to head back to the Sanctuary. You know, duty calls and all that shit. I'll be stopping by to see you. You've been unconscious for two days since we've found you. Doc says that it's normal. Doesn't help with all the pain medication I had him put you on. At least you're past the worst of it now. Don't have to worry about Walker Rick coming out. Write to me when you wake up (illegible scribbling) if you want._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

**_Baby boy (illegible scribbling, crossed out names) Rick,_ **

_**I got my best looking over you. I was gonna just have you brought to the Sanctuary so I could take care of you here. Figured I would do a better job. The Walkers...didn't want you to be near them. Wanted you somewhere more inviting then some damn factory. You've got your kids at home and every god damn sunflower I've grown. Stopped by earlier and made your kids some lasagna. Carl ate two servings and only glared at me a little. Hope you wake up soon. Been boring without your pouting.** _ **You know, I was mar(illegible scribbling, crossed out words, splotches of ink) Get well soon.**

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Thank you._

_-Rick_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Well, shit baby boy. No one told me Sleeping Beauty finally opened those baby blue eyes. Welcome back, Sheriff. Been really fucking dull without you. On another note, what the fuck were you fucking thinking (illegible scribbling) you're running that fine ass of yours into a damn blizzard!? Could have frozen your Georgia peaches off!** _ _**Do you know how fucking worried I was? Couldn't sleep a wink! If you ever fucking (illegible scribbling) Why the fuck are you even writing me? You need to be resting! Your damn arm is broken!** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_That's why I'm writin' with my other hand. There's nothing else to do here. My arm hurts. Come visit._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Looks like the pain meds are fucking working. Your arm's broken, Rick. It's gonna hurt. I'd say my dick would cure your boredom, but you're in no condition to be putting those bow legs over my shoulders. Your handwriting is shit right now. Get some sleep, Rick. We'll talk more when you're feeling better._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You looked after my kids. You took care of them while I was gone. (Illegible, messy writing) Michonne even admitted you did well, and she's difficult to impress. I wanted to thank you for (illegible writing) keeping them safe. I really appreciate it. My Georgi-is that supposed to mean my ass? You're kind of obsessed with it. I'm Glad to hear you were so concerned about my health. Almost puts feeling into my cold dead heart._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**You don't have to thank me for shit like that. Your kids are great. You know I (illegible writing) Just get some rest and let yourself get better. I'm gonna stop by some time next week, let you rest a bit before you have to deal with me too much. How is the pain medication working? Dwight said you seemed pretty with it when he dropped off my last letter. And yes, your ripe, juicy Georgia peach ass. It's the 8th wonder of the damn world. Stop desecrating it. Unless it's for something freaky. And did you make a fucking joke, Grimes? I'm impressed!**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_Medicine is working fine. I see you were serious with the whole sunflower bit. They're everywhere. Still can't leave the house but I'm finally allowed to get out of the bed. Carl's been trailing me as bad as he did when he was a toddler. Gives me the same attitude, too. He didn't appreciate the comparison. I don't need him to escort me everywhere. My ass is fine by the way. Thank you._

_-Rick_

**Dear Rick,**

**Of course he's trailing you. You fell off a damn cliff. Why are they even letting you out of the bed? Do these people want you to die on them or something? Snuggle up in the blankets I brought and get some sleep. You've probably not even had sleep for the last few years. You need to catch up. I'll probably be by later on this week. Try to keep it together. Your ass is more than fine. I'm gonna bring some books for you to read.**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_You left your leather jacket on me last night. How did you even manage to forget that? I was gonna give it to Arat, but she told me to keep it for now. So, it's here, I guess. Thank you for bringing food over for the kids. You know Carl loves your cooking. He's at that age where he's always hungry. I'm glad you were able to offer him something he'd like. The books are great. I haven't read The Hobbit in ages._

_-Rick_

**-Rick**

**Dear Rick,**

**Well, I sure as hell wasn't about to remove it from you while you were sleeping. You were cold. Figured it would warm you up a bit. It'd be fucking rude as hell of me to wake you up. You're still a bit bruised up, but you're looking better! Have that pout down again! It was good to see you and the kids again! Always fun visiting. Keep the jacket for now. I'll stop by again soon, okay? Rest up a bit more. Once you're all healed we can start looking at going on some more runs. I know you're probably getting really antsy at this point. At least you're getting out of the house a bit.**

**Love, Negan**

_Negan,_

_At this point I'd like any excuse to get me out of this damn house. I'm barely able to get out. Either Carl or Gabriel intercept if i go too far. I'm going insane in here. Rosita will come by just to talk with me, so at least i have some company that aren't my kids. Michonne's been picking up my slack and going on runs. I want to get back out there soon. I'm useless in here. I heard you weren't coming for tributes lately? What's going on with that?_

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Sorry for the late reply, darlin'. Figured I'd wait until you were back on your feet before looking into tributes or anything. I've been busy with the Sanctuary. Took your advice and got rid of most of the Walkers guarding the area. Figured it was time to use that land for something useful. When you're okay to travel a bit, maybe you can come over and show me how to properly garden? Don't be rushing out now. You're not completely healed yet._ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I could do that. I should be let out soon. My arms out of the cast. Make sure to have the land burned. It'll help make it more fertile and get rid of anything the Walkers might have left behind._

_-Rick_

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_Great! I'll be over tomorrow morning to pick you up. Doc says your arm's pretty much healed. Just gotta be gentle. I can definitely be gentle, Rick. I have fertilizer and shit all ready and had the land cleared and burned out. I'm gonna make you something nice to eat! Put some meat on those bones. Looking forward to seeing you!_ **

**_Love, Negan_ **

**_Dear Rick,_ **

**_**So...I’m just gonna come out and say it. How about that kiss last night?** I just wanna mention that you kissed me first. Fucking hot damn, Rick. Crawled right into my lap and took charge! Can't get that picture out of my head. Who knew Georgia could taste so damn sweet? _ **

**_Love, Negan_ **


	9. Chapter 9

_Negan,_

_That was a mistake. It won't happen again._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**Oh, Jesus don't be like that, Rick. It wasn't a mistake and you know it. I'm gonna be clear with you. I want you. It's not some dumb joke or anything like that. I want you to be with me Rick. When you were lost in that blizzard, I thought I lost you and it scared me. I haven't been that scared since L(illegible scribbling) in a long time. I'm changing myself because of you. I know this shit is pretty confusing, but dammit if you don't want me back, Rick. You crawled into MY lap. You kissed ME. I was never gonna kiss you unless you said yes. Unless I knew you wanted me back. I would never have pushed it. I could never have pushed it if you didn't want me. I want you. Do you want me too, Rick?** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_You can't seriously expect me to just fall over myself for you. Not after everything that's happened. Glenn is dead. Abraham is dead. Spencer, Olivia and so many other people are dead. Maybe you want to change. Maybe you want to do the right thing, but what is the right thing to you? Taking fewer tributes and not bashing in people's heads every time you visit doesn't mean anything. You have countless people under your heel. You took care of my kids and I appreciate that you care for them. And maybe my feelings for you are mixed, but that doesn't change the past. I can't be with you, Negan. You have your wives. You have your power and you have Daryl. He's my best friend and you have him locked up._

_It would never work. It would never be equal, 'cause when you lose your temper, people die. When you're upset, people get hurt. I can't risk my people over my own wants. I can't be that person, Negan and neither should you. We can't do this. Kissing you…I enjoyed it more than I should have, but I can't go down that path. It's fucking stupid and dangerous and it would kill us both in the end._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**That's the most you've ever written to me. If I (illegible scribbling) I can't take back(illegible scribbling) I did to your friends. (illegible scribbling) Who said anything about feelings, Rick? We can do this, no strings attached. It's sex Rick. Release some of that tension. You think my girl Arat isn't going at it with that Tara girl you have? It's about getting off Rick. We can be as casual as you like. I can go as slow as you need, sweetheart.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I can't just sleep with someone for the fun of it. It's not who I am. When Michonne and I were together, we waited until there was a connection. I was never good at casual. I can't just sleep with you to get off. I read the letters you sent me while I was missing and I can remember every word you wrote, every damn line and pause. This is dangerous and stupid. I can't do that to my kids. I can't do this with you._

_-Rick_

_**Dear Rick,** _

_**If you read my letters than you should know I'm serious. If you want spark then I can give you spark. All that you need. I could take such good care of you baby. I'd be as gentle as you like. I'd take my time. Make sure you're nice and wet and open for me. Get you so hard that every touch has you begging for more. Let me in, sweetheart. Let me take care of you.** _

_**Love, Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I can't do that. Please don't (illegible scribbling) Let it go._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**Guess I should have figured this would happen. You win, Rick. I'll back off.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**Boys made a run into the city a few days ago. I'm sending them over when they get back with extra supplies you might need. You still need generators? They found several in one of the warehouses along with battery packs.** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_A couple generators would be appreciated. We have your tribute prepared for whenever you stop by._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**Cool, I'll send Simon and Dwight over to pick up. The generators are on their way.** _

_**-Negan** _

_**Rick,** _

_**Simon says that girl Rosita of yours was lippy with him. Anything I need to worry about?** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_If Rosita was lippy it was only because Simon felt the need to be as much of an asshole to her as he possibly could. She didn't say anything that should have hurt his precious feelings. If there's an issue you can come to me about it._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**If Simon's being unreasonable just tell me. I'll put him straight. Did he put his hands on her at all?** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_He didn't touch her or do anything like that. Maybe just suggest that he don't make death jokes that she would find offensive. She's not the type to put up with that shit quietly. He seems awfully comfortable when you're not around._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**I'll look into it. I know my men though. Simon's an asshole, but loyal. Another storms' on its' way. Don't go out in it. I'll have Arat leave extra walkie talkies if anything goes to shit.** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_Won't leave this time. Arat's staying the night._

_-Rick_

_**Rick,** _

_**Found out that Simon's been harassing some of my younger followers. Some kind of hazing bullshit. I don't tolerate that crap here. Well, after that it was just one thing after another with this asshole. You were right about his comfort level when I'm not babysitting his pornstache ass. Killed three kids in one of the communities for getting in his damn way during a visit. He had told me they were casualties in some run in with a rebel group. Kids, Rick. Younger than Carl and he (illegible scribbling) I have shit I need to go over I guess. And it starts with you. Listen, there's something I wanted to discuss with you. I'm not sure if it's something I should say over a letter. I'm coming back with Arat. I have something I need to give you. There are things we need to discuss.** _

_**-Negan** _

_Negan,_

_I don't know why you decided to do it, but thank you for bringing Daryl home. I've spoken with the community and most are willing to discuss the renegotiation you talked with me about. I can't speak for Hilltop or the Kingdom. You did a lot of damage. Somethings that can't be swept under the rugs with gifts and promises. You got rid if Simon, but there are more Simon's in the world. There will always be more. Alexandria is willing to work with you. I want to believe what you said. That you want to change. I want to believe things can be better. We need it to be better._

_-Rick_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter is in the works!


	10. Chapter 10

**_Rick,_ **

**_So, looks like I'm a single man again. Let the wives go on their merry ways. Figured it was time and they were ready to go or some shit. You know spread your wings and soar. Also released all the prisoners. Had no (illegible scribbling) I was done with them._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I'd say I'm sorry for your multiple divorced but I'm really not. Hope all is well and thank you for delivering supplies._

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_Not a problem and thank you oh so much for your comforting words. I feel much lighter than I had before your kindness sparkled down on me. You're really the air beneath my wings._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Would it make you feel better if I said that I didn't care? I know you're into that whole sadomasochist bullshit. Carl and Judith say hello._

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_Tell the kids I said hi! Is Judith walking more? She was pretty mobile last time I saw her. How would you know what I'm into? I'm a classy guy, Rick. So what's supposed to happen with the Kingdom and Hilltop. When I said we could make peace I didn't mean I was just gonna stretch my neck and accept whatever they gave me. That girl from Hilltop in particular. Thought she was dead and bam there she is looking ready to kill. A little heads-up would have been fan-fucking-tastic._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_Judith is running now. Unsteady, but running. Maggie, understandably is not interested in anything you have to offer and neither is Ezekiel. Too much bad blood. Ezekiel did say that taking you out of your authoritative position would be beneficial, but I think he understands that you won't budge. You need to work with him, he might be willing to listen if you offer him something as retribution. It's too late for Maggie and you know why._

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_Yeah I guess I do. I know it's a package deal with you, the Kingdom and Hilltop. If I'm being completely honest I really couldn't give a flying fuck about them. Just you. Just Alexandria. I'm tempted to offer you a deal. You and I, both our communities working together. We'd be king shits and no one would fuck with us. But I know you better than that, don't I? You'd never turn your back on them and I couldn't (illegible scribbling) I could never force you._ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_I guess you are learning. I heard you sent supplies to Hilltop and the Kingdom. Thank you for trying. I figured Maggie would refuse whatever you offered her. The Hilltop is out of negotiations and so is the Kingdom. What now?_

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_Either way, I'm done with them. They're free or whatever. Can't offer them much anymore anyway. I get it. Now, my main concern is you and Alexandria. What do you need from me? What do you want me to do?_ **

**_-Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You've never asked me my thoughts on shit like this before. I'm honestly not sure what you want me to say. You said you're freeing Hilltop and the Kingdom. You released Daryl and the other prisoners. You're actually helping rather than stomping. I can only say, do what you know is right. Make reprimands. Build bridges rather than just burning them. If you can do that, then maybe we can reach something. I've done things that still (illegible scribbling) I've done shitty things and I can't forget them. Things that I never would have dreamed of. If I can force myself to move forward, so can you._

_-Rick_

**_Rick,_ **

**_Okay, screw it. Here's the truth. When I was drunk and wrote you that I had been married I said she got sick. She was really sick. She had cancer and for the last year of her life I watched her slowly fade away. She died when this all started. Once my world ended, the whole damn world ended too. She came back and I was too much of a fucking coward to end it. I could see it in her eyes. You know those damn Walker eyes. It wasn't my wife looking back at me. She was long gone. So I ran. I found the bat and named it after my wife as a reminder. I needed to remember who I failed and what I needed to become to survive in this shithole. I was a bastard before this all began. I lied and I cheated on Lucille, but I loved her, Rick. I loved her so fucking much. That night I met her at the bar where she was wearing some god awful cheetah print leggings and belting out Cher, I knew I knew I loved her. I cheated on her and I fucked up, but I loved her. I wish I had told her that more often._ ** **_I didn't think I could ever love anyone or anything like I had loved her. But then I met you. And you fucking wrecked me._ **

**_I'm not a good person, Rick. I'm a monster and I know it. I owned it like that asshole kid stomping on the anthill. But something about you made me weak. Made me want to be better. I'll give it up. I'll give all this shit up if it means you would sleep better at night. Is that what love is? Wanting better for that one person even if it gives you nothing in return? I would have died for Lucille, but then she would have been stuck in this fucking world and it would have destroyed her and (illegible scribbling) She went out thinking the world was still good and all that shit._ **

**_And now there's you. You with your fucking cowboy boots and scowl. I liked bringing you down. I fucking loved knowing that I took down that badass of a man and made him my bitch. It made me feel powerful. The biggest fucking kid on the anthill. But those eyes...those fucking eyes of yours. Prettiest damn eyes I've ever seen. I started seeing them everywhere. Everything was suddenly blue, like your eyes. This sounds like sappy high school bullshit, but it's true._ **

**_I know the world is shit. I know we both have done fucked up shit to survive. That was always my issue. I didn't want to survive. I wanted to fucking live. You made me feel like I was living. I had my power, my wives and everything I needed. But you still managed to fuck with me and I wanted you more than anything. I don't know what I would have done if I actually had you. (illegible scribbling) Like a fucking child. Shows how much I actually know, right? That kiss fucked me up, Rick. I knew you wouldn't want to keep it going after the fact but having you on me like that, it just felt right. I know I'll always love Lucille, but isn't it human nature to be able to love more than once in their life? She'd want me to move on already, get laid, get rid of the fucking...(illegible ink splatter) just get rid of the bat. Bury the hatchet or the bat in my case and move forward. I'll have Arat bring you the letter. I think its' time I let Lucille go. Please reply whenever you can._ **

**_Love, with all my damn heart, Negan_ **

_Negan,_

_You actually got rid of Lucille. I read your letter, over and over, but it felt like the words just weren't matching. Like I was reading a different language or something. Then you came over, without a bat and looking like you didn't know what to do with yourself. You loved your wife. I can understand that. I remember how messed up I was after Lori. I saw her everywhere after. I thought I was going crazy. Her and I had been going through shit before everything happened. The Walkers jut made it more complicated._

_I guess I should come clean with a few things of my own. I got shot before the world went to shit. I had been with my partner Shane on patrol and there was a car chase, long story short, there were two people in the car and we didn't know until I got hit. It left me in a coma and when I woke up, the world was a mess. Shane had barricaded me in my room so nothing could reach me. He thought I was dead and he still (illegible scribbling) He-(illegible scribbling) He looked after Lori and Carl, got them to safety. He saved them while I couldn't. He was my best friend. Since we were kids. He always looked out for me. He was my brother. My biggest regret. They thought I was dead. I don't blame them. I finally woke up from the coma and the everything was messed up. I finally managed to find them. I can't describe what it was like to see them again. To see and hold Carl again. Shane and Lori thought I was dead. They only_ _(illegible scribbling) Judith ain't mine. I can see it in her eyes. Shane's eyes. It doesn't matter. Biological or not, she's my daughter and I want her (illegible scribbling) I want her to live._

_I came back and things started to move forward. But something in Shane changed him. Changed me. He got violent, dark in ways that he had never been. It wasn't my best friend with me anymore. He loved Lori. More than I had thought, and me coming back pushed him away from her. He (illegible scribbling) Eventually, it led to him and me in a damn field with him pointing a gun at me. He was gonna kill me. He wanted Lori and Carl and I was in the way. I talked him down. I had him start to lower the gun and I (ink splatter) I killed him. I killed my best friend. My brother. I still see him sometimes, too._

_I fucked up, Negan. I did things that I'm not proud of and I still see their faces when I sleep. The world's a mess and somehow I'm alive while better people aren't. You were...this force of nature. You came in and (illegible scribbling) I killed your men and Glenn and Abe died for my mistake. They were good men. It should have been me. I hated you. Thought you were this monster coming to kill us all. Now, I'm just so damn confused. You looked after my kids. You're helping us and making reprimands and you're suddenly human. You said you loved me and I'm afraid I migh- (illegible scribbling) I don't know what I can do. I want us to move forward. I don't want war. Just peace. You said you were willing to try when you were here last night. When you left, you kissed me goodbye so gently, like you thought you would break me. Holding my face like I was something precious. I've never been held like that before. Not since Michonne who I still love, but know there's no future and not since Lori. I want to try. I want to believe you and I (illegible scribbling) I think I can eventually take that hand you keep offering me. It will take time. We both have things we need to work on. But, I wanna move forward. For Carl, for Judith. For all of us. Maybe we can. Life ain't dead yet. We're not done yet._

_Love, Rick_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end! Thank you everyone who liked and supported this little story of mine! I hope to continue writing for the fandom and seeing what more could happen with Negan and Rick.


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